David Robidoux

I’ve been incarcerated for 22 years. I started taking a weekly Nonviolent Communication class just six weeks ago and found out how useful it was j when I came before the parole board. They asked me to give them an example of how I’ve changed, how I deal with conflict now. I told them this story about how I was confronted with a situation that illustrated my new attitude.

A guy I didn’t know well approached me aggressively and made some assumptions about what he thought was true. Rather than getting defensive and triggered, as I would have done in the past, I instead thought “Hmm, I wonder what’s going on with him; what’s behind that anger?” He was surprised at my approach and that I listened to him rather than get back in his face. I used Nonviolent Communication techniques to get more information, guess what his needs might be, and then to help him understand my part in the situation. His attitude changed as a result of the tactic I used.

Having told the parole board this story, they quickly determined that I was suitable for release, and they’ve set the date for eight months from now. I’m very thankful to the Nonviolent Communication class for having given me the skills I need to handle conflict differently, and to see what’s behind other people’s anger before reacting to it.